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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Top Ten Signs You Might Be a Calvinist

(10) if your child’s first word was “Westminster"

(9) if you stubbed your toe and said: "Thank God that is over"

(8) if you have a portrait of Jonathan Edwards over your fireplace

(7) if you prefer black and white to all other color combinations

(6) if Pyromania makes you think of Phil Johnson, not Def Leppard

(5) if you use "Arminian" as a curse word

(4) if you’ve ever shouted “YES!” when the pastor says to turn to Romans 9

(3) if you’ve ever read parts of “The Bondage of the Will” to children under ten and prayed that it would change their lives

(2) if you send your mother tulips on Mother’s Day

(1) if you've come up with a working theory on how the Holocaust gives God glory

(These were assembled from across the web added with a couple of my own invention)


  1. Re: #10: I know a few "Owens" along that line, but no Westminsters yet...

    Re: #1 -- that is the one that seriously scares and upsets me. And of course, most Calvinists worth their salt will have at least a working theory at hand.

  2. (4) if you’ve ever shouted “YES!” when the pastor says to turn to Romans 9


  3. God isn't glorified by evil in and of itself. What He is glorified by is the good He will bring out of the evil situation.

  4. It took me a while to get the tulip comment! Well known Christian author Tim Lahaye said that "...Calvinism is perilously close to blasphemy."

  5. LOL, I'm basically Calvinist, but these are funny and perceptive.

  6. Why do Calvinists love Calvinism?